Complicated Emotions and how to ride them out
Some days really hits us in the face, you feel out of place, you feel like you're in the wrong place, you want to be someplace else, you want someone to understand you, everything's just a whole big mess, you try but not sure if you'll ever succeed or get what you're looking for. It's overwhelming, whatever it is. Those days are hard and those days you just try and keep on with the day. l am a big cry-person, l don't cry because l am weak, l cry because my emotions are... hard, overwhelming, how to describe.. they are sensitive, easily triggered. I keep going and l can turn things into a positive and at the same time l smile and cry through the battle. Tears are my relief, not my weak surrendering. Tears are my strength, not my weakness. It is a wave that NEEDS to be ridden. A ride l need to allow myself to conquer. Being emotional is something we can not always change in ourselves.. but we can learn to cope those emotions. Overly sensitive people sometimes feel other people's pain and wish they could carry other people's pain so they don't have to.
When the emotions come, it's good to ride that wave of emotions and let it go. You can not miss it, otherwise a tsunami is going to weep over you later. It can take some of your energy to cry and feel but it can empowers you when handled accordingly. You can grow in the process and learn to handle those emotions in less responsive way over time. Someone else might not cry the same way, and that's only because they are different. For some of us, our brain were born emotional, to cry and laugh at the same time and not know what the heck is going on, until awhile later a claroty of emotions will arise.
Handling emotions takes energy, so ultimately it would be good to accept that that's how you are and start building a better way to handle those emotions. Learning to let it be just a feeling and not judge yourself for being so 'dramatic' and emotional. Forgive yourself and learn to forgive yourself quickly.You are just doing your best and can only learn not to let you feelings take better of you, so that they don't decide how your day is going to turn out.
Especially these days, with the lock-down, l am feeling more out of place than ever. But, I think so does many others, even the ones who don't show it. Just remind yourself, this is all temporary, no emotion, no experience, no moment lasts forever.
When you hit a rock bottom, you can only get back up. All of your experiences make you the beautiful self you are, as long as you recognise your flaws and fix them and grow up. Another day is always coming. Ride it out and learn who you are !
You might be interested to read about the 10 top tips to change your life for better (number three is my favourite)
or have a read through the journey of self-compassion and how to improve your relationship with yourself and with others. It starts with talking kindly to yourself.